In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People
2011 August 1
In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding & Dealing with Manipulative People
- ISBN13: 9781935166306
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
Subtitled understanding & dealing with manipulative people, which is the international bestseller Dr.In sheepskin is used in thousands of psychiatric hospitals has been used global & have been bought by 250,000.
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Best book for the layperson on this topic,
Written by someone who doesn’t pass the blame, Simon tells it like it is. He puts the responsibility for abusive behavior squarely on the shoulders of the perpetrator. Controlling, manipulative people are free to make choices, but they choose narcissistic processes and outcomes. We must stop excusing their bad behavior and confront it.
Simon says (!) his readers have to take responsibility for their own lives; since they aren’t likely to change their perpetrators’ behaviors; victims must change the pattern of interaction with perpetrators—and that’s the key.
His suggestions aren’t just off-the-cuff remarks. They work! For instance, have you ever noticed how hard it is to think of what to say in the moment? How easily we can think of a perfect retort after the moment has passed? Simon’s simple suggestion to say, “Will you please repeat that?” works wonders. It’s just the break one needs to collect thoughts. Simultaneously, it throws the perpetrator off-base. They don’t want to repeat themselves, particularly now that others might be listening more closely. Insults never come out the second time with the same conviction. Next, we’re advised to repeat back the insult, such as, “You feel I am _____. Do I understand you correctly?” Being certain you understand the intentions of alleged perpetrators is important. Authors like Patricia Evans (Controlling People) see insults at every turn, her perpetrators typically being stereotypical men or “mothers”. Sometimes words don’t come out as intended. We don’t need to do battle with those we misunderstand.
Once you grasp the accusation and have gathered enough facts to assess the situation, Simon advises you offer the perpetrator the option of taking the discussion into a more private session. It’s easier to settle differences when not performing before an audience.
He goes futher with terrific insights and suggestions, but buy the book. It’s the most helpful one I’ve ever read on the topic (and out of misery and desperation, I’ve read reams). I grew up in the home of a woman who made it clear to me she didn’t love me; I walked into a horrendously abusive relationship right out of high school, then I moved on to a controlling husband for the past two decades. For the first time in my life, I understand why I perceive people are “always taking advantage of me”. I’ve let them. Since I’ve been speaking up, I feel empowered and alive. This book saved my perspective, if not my life, without encouraging me to swing the pendulum too far in the opposite direction.
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|Buy This Book First!,
After having read several books on several different self-help topics, psychology books, psychiatry books, etc., I MUST recommend you buy this one, first.
It cuts straight through the bs – neatly and cleanly.
If you are wondering what the heck is wrong with YOU and just can’t seem to pin it down, I highly recommend starting here to discover what’s at the heart of several disorders, at least how they will affect you when you deal with toxic, intolerant, self-important, crazy-making individuals.
Bottom line: I no longer CARE what’s wrong with them. If they can’t bother to diagnose themselves, why should I bother? I just want to spot these waterheads from a distance so I can steer clear, and control the damage from those I can’t avoid, such as my insane family.
When you “See Through” the techniques as they happen, the only hard part will be keeping a straight face as you expertly deflect their sickness.
And I free my time for concentrating on living MY LIFE on MY TERMS. Wonderful!
And yes, it may seem like common sense, but bear in mind you are dealing with highly skilled manipulators. They’ve had years and years of experience being covertly aggressive – do not underestimate their power. It happens so quickly, so subtly, you must arm yourself with tools to fight such monsters. The short text makes it possible to “refresh” your “common sense” before facing a nut-inducing encounter (family, co-workers, spouse, etc.)
I have bought copies of this book for friends and can’t recommend it enough.
Best wishes & good luck!
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